I was a young Christian (Pentecostal) girl with big dreams of corporate high-rises and lofty bank accounts. I was the model of pious perfection and never said a word out of place, so basically I was being groomed to become someone’s perfect wife. Inside, I was dying to be free. I wasn’t allowed to do anything fun with fashion, and music was meant to be for worship only. Everything we enjoy as children becomes a sin in adulthood and is marked as “immaturity.”

Dancing, for example, is only acceptable when you’re writhing on the church floor – ass-cheeks to God – twerking all your sins away. To be fair, spiritual experiences occurred often, but the stench of blood sacrifice hung in the air… and I just couldn’t buy into it. Eating and drinking the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ, even as a ceremonious ritual, is absolute madness.

But when I started to question things, it always went the same way… “Don’t question the lord.” “There are things we just aren’t supposed to know.” “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” “Hell is real, so let’s not question things.”

Just utter bullshit…

The entire population of humanity came out of women and they tried to convince me that we all came from a man’s rib. THAT is enough to make anyone question who the fuck came up with this shit? And then examine the Holy Bible and holy shit, God HATES WOMEN and CHILDREN. For millennia, marrying a man was a woman’s best hope for survival because ALL of the resources on the planet were being raped by men. Naturally, women are man’s greatest resource because we continue the species. They never wanted us to learn or to speak… because

To have a voice is to have a choice. They can’t silence us now.

~The Prodigal Daughter

I am 32 and from a very very young age I’ve had to unfortunately experience a life of being molested and raped. From the ages of one to thirteen male baby sitters, uncles, and neighbors had taken advantage of my body by fourteen to eighteen male friends and boyfriends started getting a lot rougher and more physically abusive so in my mind I grew up thinking that was something that was normal. Naturally that’s how my obsession with much older men began. I thought that was what love was and the only way any man would love me I needed to be completely subservient to never fight back cause it would make thing worse and really believed that was all I was ever going to have in this life I wasn’t good enough for anything better.

~T